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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515462">i’d wait my whole life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasi/pseuds/yasi'>yasi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coda, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:33:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasi/pseuds/yasi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Callum's POV from the I love you episode.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i’d wait my whole life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Callum’s love for Ben has never been conditional on Ben loving him back. Yes, they’re dating. Yes, they’re a couple. Yes, they’re exclusive. But when Callum went and fell in love with Ben, he didn’t expect any grand declarations in return.</p><p>They’d told each other about their lives in hushed conversations when neither of them could sleep late at night and all they could do was hold each other. It was mostly Callum talking and Ben making interjections here and there how Phil did the same thing to him or sometimes even worse.</p><p>But Callum’s learnt early on that Ben’s closed off, no matter how much of an annoying prat he can be. Yes, he likes riling people up. And yes, he will flirt with anything that has a heartbeat. But it’s never more than that, it’s always on the surface.</p><p>Callum thinks it was one of the reasons he was so reluctant to make a go of things with Ben. But once he got a glimpse behind the façade, once he realised how Ben’s mind works, Callum couldn’t help but fall for him.</p><p>Callum knows Ben likes hiding behind a wall of steel, keeping his emotions close to his heart. Sometimes though, when he’s with Lexi and you’re lucky to witness it, you’ll see love pour out of him with only a smile.</p><p>So yeah, he’s known that he’s been in love with Ben for a while and he’s tried his best not to let it slip out too early so as not to spook Ben. Not that it worked, mind, because he did say it, and everything did go to hell.</p><p>Callum has known all along that loving Ben wouldn’t be easy. All the things Ben went through and all the things that still keep happening to him, to them, will always make things hard.</p><p>But Callum never tried to pressure Ben into anything. He’s always been content knowing in his heart that Ben has feelings for him, that he even loves Callum. And he’s content telling Ben how much he means to him. He’ll gladly spent all his life telling Ben that he’s amazing and deserves all the love in this world.</p><p>So, when Ben blurts out <em>I love you</em> in the middle of the night with Callum’s eyes closed, it’s a shock to his system. Tears steal their way to his eyes. His heart is beating a mile a minute, and he feels himself freeze up for a second, only to open his eyes slowly. He needs to make sure he hasn’t dreamt Ben’s words. When he looks at Ben, Ben startles and Callum can see him close up again, trying to play it down but Callum won’t let him.</p><p>He touches Ben’s arm, making him look up and tells Ben what he’s been telling him since Christmas, but this time he signs it. He points to himself, brings his open palms together over his own heart and then points to Ben. He wants Ben to know that him being deaf won’t change anything about his feelings, Callum will always love him.</p><p>Ben looks choked up and Callum would like nothing more than to hug him. But Ben has other ideas and lunges up and kisses Callum. And Callum’s always been weak for Ben’s kisses, never able to resist once their lips touch. So, he kisses back with everything in him.</p><p>But kissing won’t be enough, Callum wants and wants and wants. He pulls Ben into his lap and hauls him up, their kisses open mouthed and dirty now, their breaths harsh. Callum can’t stop, won’t stop. There is an urgency burning in him and the way Ben grabs at him tells Callum he feels the same. Callum carries Ben to their bedroom and drops him on their bed, closing the door.</p><p>He takes a moment to look at Ben, to take him in. He looks gorgeous like this, out of breath, his lips wet from their kisses and he looks at Callum with the same hunger Callum is feeling.</p><p>He loves what Ben does to him, the confidence he feels when they’re together. He never feels ridiculous or inexperienced. He feels like he’s in his element, like he was born to love Ben.</p><p>Callum takes off his own t-shirt and crawls on top of Ben, pulling at Ben’s shirt. Ben understands and pulls it off, his hair standing up and making Callum smile. He peppers Ben’s stomach and chest with soft kisses, only just touching and moving on. Ben is arching his back, moving towards Callum, asking for more. But Callum wants to take his time, show Ben how much he means to him.</p><p>He moves on to Ben’s neck, licks his own lips and traces barely there wet kisses from one side to the other. Normally he'd mark Ben, leaving his neck tender the next day. But not tonight. Ben’s moaning loudly now, his hands balled in the sheets – thank God they’re alone at the flat – and he won’t stop squirming, so Callum stops and puts his hand on Ben’s chest, looking down at him.</p><p>Ben opens his eyes, a frantic look in them. “Why’d you stop?” he asks, panting.</p><p>Callum can’t help himself, he closes the small distance between their faces and kisses Ben softly, lingering. Their eyes are still open, staring into each other’s souls. Ben's hands find their way to Callum's head, pulling at his hair a little. Callum slowly opens his mouth, licking over Ben’s lips, nibbling, asking for entrance. After what feels like an eternity Ben finally opens his mouth and their tongues meet.</p><p>Callum loves this part, when they kiss and kiss and kiss, because they can’t get enough of each other.</p><p>Callum slowly lays down on top of Ben, mindful that he’s not crushing him. Though he knows that Ben enjoys his weight, likes being held down. Likes it when Callum is a little more forceful.</p><p>But tonight, Callum only wants to touch and kiss and make Ben feel loved. And so, he does.</p>
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